Youve finally done it: after years of feeling berated and bad about yourself, constantly walking on eggshells afraid of what shell say, youve cut your toxic friend out of your life. Everyones been so supportive of your decision, knowing how much it will benefit your emotions and ability to live your life the way you want to. But instead of feeling happy and free, youre plagued by feelings of guilt and loneliness. All you want to do is call her up and let her back into your life.
Youre not alone. Its completely normal, after the end of a toxic friendship, to grieve the loss of your friend. After all, youve spent so much time together, even shared milestones together. Its a heartbreaking time in your life??but you have to remember that this is whats healthiest for you, and will make you happiest in the long-run.
By providing you with these tips, we hope we can make the process of letting go a little easier, so that before you know it youll be building a happier, healthier life for yourself.
Give yourself permission and time to grieve
If you find yourself scrolling through old Instagram pictures of you and your friend, bursting suddenly into tears in unexpected places, you might think somethings wrong with you. After all, you ended the friendship. But its important that you give yourself permission and time to grieve??its a natural part of the process of saying goodbye to someone whos been such a big part of your life.
Write up a list of reasons why you ended the friendship
Especially now, its easy to allow your emotions to do the talking, and distract you away from the real, legitimate reasons why you chose to end your friendship in the first place. By writing a list, youll be able to remind yourself of the reasons you left in the first place. Theres no arguing with evidence, so youll feel stronger and more confident about your decision.
Focus on yourself
Now that there isnt someone distracting you from your own happiness or putting you down every time you talk about your aspirations, this is the perfect time for you to focus on yourself. Indulge yourself??in healthy activities like going to the gym or going for walks, but in guilty pleasures, too, like taking yourself out to dinner or seeing your favorite movie over and over again. Treat yourself the way you know you deserve to be treated!
Build a support system
Its easy to get lonely after losing a friend, even if this friend often made you feel alone. Therefore, its important to build a new support system so you dont have to go through this experience alone. Whether its your friends who are worth keeping, your family, or a therapist, reaching out will help you during this hard time. Remember that theres always someone who wants to listen to you and support you.
For more tips on dealing with the end of a friendship or relationship, check out the extended version of this article on Medium.