I just want to be happy. There has to be more to life than this. I constantly feel like an outsider because everyone around me is laughing and smiling and I have to plan and create my reactions and facial expressions to try to mimic them correctly. It’s exhausting and I just want to have a day where I don’t have to monitor myself like that.


Are you in denial about your true feelings, perhaps?
Be urself ...don't fake it..it's not ur job to impress or please people around you.dont monitor what u do ever.be bold enough to face urself..love urself and the world will love u.accept and express urself freely..people who are meant to be in ur life wl eventually be.dont exhaust urself dear.
I feel the exact same way Turtle. I feel like I have to pretend everything. My mom says it’s normal. But I know it’s not...