I don't feel like myself anymore, but I can't really talk to anyone about it. They would assume it's because of the baby I had two months ago, but this downhill slide started before she was conceived. I'm basically just faking everything to try to be a good mom to my daughter, because she deserves that. She has a heart problem and is hard of hearing. She doesn't need a broken mom, too.

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I can feel myself getting worse and more and more suicidal but in my head if I ask for help then I can't be serious enough to actually go through with anything and therefore don't need the help?? But at the same time I'm scared I'll do something on a whim next time I get really bad...